My 4 youngest children and I have recently relocated to Texas, where two of my older daughters currently reside and where one of them is attending University working on her Masters degree.
It was a long road getting here, not just the drive down here (which took about 27 hrs.) but everything that has happened within the last year or more bringing me (us) to this "place" where we have sold, given away, and packed up all of what we now own into a 12ft. trailer and hauled it South to this new location, and new way of living. So many changes, so many choices ahead of us, so many lives affected, so many thoughts swirling around in my mind...so many different emotions being experienced at one time.
I am more than half a century old and I feel I have nothing, yet everything. Nothing, because many years have gone by and most of what was cultivated, expressed, created, and gained during these last decades seems to be now gone - including people; parents, siblings, friends, partner, pets, belongings...not to mention our home of over 25yrs., And yet everything because I am almost starting all over again; currently not being stuck in a 30yr old rut, the possibilities ahead of me are varied and many.
I'm sad and relieved, excited and nervous, adventurous and timid, wanting and at peace - needless to say, quite conflicted, yet not. How is this possible?
The beat goes on...
In the process of healing from life and its tragedies, I've heard and am finding that all things creative can be a form of therapy, along with sharing and expressing one's self and one's creations.
Here lies part of my journey to find Peace, Love, and Forgiveness in this crazy life of mine.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
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Not a Survivor
(I originally wrote this within the first 6 months after my daughter's death. I didn't post it then, I don't remember why. I...
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